Politically incorrect, comprehensively unscientific, and exceptionally funny, this guidebook identifies—and pokes fun at—the people of the Rainbow Nation. After sorting out the labels Black, English Whites, Afrikaners, and Coloreds, the discussion pushes on to more difficult questions: Why should you never give a White woman a white-gold engagement ring? Why do Indian men always play sports in jeans? and How do Colored gangsters fare in the navy?

Simon Kilpatrick is a writer and former accountant and businessman.